4 But Esau ran to meet him, and embraced him, and fell on his neck and kissed him, and they wept. 5 And he lifted his eyes and saw the women and children, and said, “Who are these with you?”
It’s Really Up to YOU!!
Forgiveness is one of the hardest and least favorite principle that we as believers chose to walk in. We innately feel that if we forgive someone who has hurt or offended us that they are somehow getting off the hook.
Well first let me say, There is No Hook!! You see while what others do to us impacts us heavily, we are still not authorized to make them pay for what they did, nor are we to keep them captive because of what they did. That responsibility belongs to God, and depending on the offense our justice system.
You see so many of us hold onto the pain of the offense, and the offender because we want to make sure they pay. We oftentimes feel that closure via their apology is necessary to forgive and move on.
But that’s not true. Waiting for others to acknowledge their wrongdoing or sorrowfulness is an natural reaction to our hurt, but it is a distraction to our healing.
Forgiveness is not about them or their feelings, it’s about yours! It’s about your emotional healing and well-being. It often requires us to resolve within ourselves to forgive them, even if they don’t acknowledge their wrongdoing.
Take for instance Esau… In this scripture Jacob was shook to his core about how his brother would retaliate against him, after years of separation. The last time we saw these brothers together, Jacob tricked Esau into giving up his birthright, and he stole his blessing from their Father. Naturally, Esau had the absolute right to be irate and want revenge against his brother. Initially, he declared that there would be heavy consequences to this family betrayal.
But somewhere along the line Esau resolved in himself to forgive his brother. You see even though years had passed, the guilt and fear of what he did gripped Jacob. He was absolutely certain that his brother was going to enact his revenge on him. He was so sure of it, he decided to butter him up by sending his best resources and his family before him to “buy” or “earn” his forgiveness..
But a remarkable thing happened.. When Esau saw his brother he ran to him, kissed him and wept. He asked Jacob who are all of these people? Why did you send them first? He informed Jacob it was unnecessary, he had all he needed and didn’t need anything from him. Wait the brother who was adamant in killing his brother, is now simply desiring reconciliation; WITHOUT HIS BROTHERS APOLOGY??
Yes, somewhere in life Esau decided within himself to forgive Jacob without a conversation, remorse or apology. Some of us will do well to develop Esau’s mentality. Despite the offense, offender, pain and time we need to resolve within ourselves to forgive others, and move on with our lives. Putting ourselves in the position to be blessed, regardless of the other parties involvement.
— with Tamara La'Salle.